Continuing to our series on “Definitive Guide to Mindfulness with Children,” let us put on some emphasis on children’s attention seeking, behavior traits etc. (Read Chapter One)
The Attention Paradigm
Your child needs attention and as a parent you must give that attention. Now am sure you would have heard of Negative Attention & Positive attention! Let’s have a small spotlight up on these Attention categories.
A positive attention can be attributed to the fact that a child garnered it by scoring well in the exams, being a disciplined child, helping others or you in household chores
Another child sought your attention by disobeying, throwing tantrums or may be taking some unwanted steps – this is negative attention.
Now the child, especially the younger ones know nothing about positive or negative attention. All they know is attention or simply how to seek your attention. The method adopted to seek eventually gets registered & goes a long way in life. So as a parent, you have the perfect opportunity to steer the child in the right direction.
Let’s analyze this a little deeply – When do you actually talk to your child? Is it when he/she has done something wrong or never finished some work the way he was told to?
Do you say thank you when your child does something good for you or help you in some way as per his capability? Do you appreciate when he does something well?
The pattern described in the above analysis on the wrongdoing, unfortunately is, very common amongst parents.
Expressing gratitude or appreciation is far less common pattern.
The point here to remember is the type of behavior patterns you are constantly reinforcing. Gradually with time & children being habitual of seeking attention, will pick up the one that you as a parent reinforced. It’s that simple! Remember the famous proverb “As you sow, so shall you reap”.
Remember this too – “Mindfulness with Children can be tricky , especially if you, the parent, is not really mindful”
We shall continue to talk about it step-by-step in the upcoming articles with more insights on The Power of Relationships.
Till then , stay safe & be Mindful. As always, please feel free to send me an invite to connect on or message me here at www.mindtofocus.com.
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